Recently I had an appointment with a physician to discuss a minor surgery. As he was going through the options for me to consider, his body was positioned in such a manner, I was facing his left shoulder and his eyes were focused either on the opposing wall or the floor directly in front of him.
As a coach and consultant in healthcare, and believing so thoroughly in social and emotional intelligence that I even became certified in it, this encounter bothered me on several levels. One being, I almost fell out of my chair by leaning forward in an attempt to connect visually.
The intelligence we as humans possess in the realm of social and emotional awareness is part of our biological make-up, in other words, ingrained in the fabric of what we call being “human.”
Something as simple as “eye contact” isn’t so simple when you consider what is happening neurologically in our brains as a “feedback loop” is actually stimulated. But, rather than bore or overwhelm you with brain science, suffice it to say this. Make eye contact with people when you are speaking to them.
Eye contact establishes connection; it makes people feel valued and heard and…it actively engages them in the relationship created by the dialogue.
This week, I suggest you become aware of not only your eye contact, but the eye contact others give you. How does it make you feel if you are speaking to someone and they are texting or looking at a computer screen? My guess is, like me, it is unsettling on many levels.
Destiny by Design or Default…the Decision is yours!